For the past three weeks, I think I did pretty good in reviewing my works making sure that I didn’t make any mistakes. I learned the hard way that I can get in trouble even on times that I least expect, or worst on situations that I am not even involved at all. And the truth is, no one will really cover for me and neither can I trust someone to stand up for me. I am working with great people and that I will never take away from them. I think they are the best in what they do and even I am amazed on how good they are. There are just those times – those unavoidable circumstances – that things just sort of happen and everything just crumbles into this big pile of problem. The worst is that I cannot take myself away from the picture because most if not all accounts start with me, and at the end when something goes wrong they tend to come haunt me.

The past two weeks came particularly hard on me. Yesterday, I had to answer from another team as to why not enough blood was drawn from one of the patients, and adding to that is why a label was placed on a wrong specimen. Two weeks before that, a miscellaneous order was not drawn. The day after, I learned that the new guy did not draw two miscellaneous again. Good thing I saw them lying on the rack because then it would have been easy for them to say it was not there and there is no way I can prove that they were.

What happened today is a total nightmare. It started with a call from a Dr’s office informing us of a stat order for a kidney transplant patient in few hours. When the patient came to the lab, I made sure they were taken in right away. They were registered upfront then they came to us for the lab works. The order was placed accurately and on STAT. Nancy even told the person who drew the patient to make sure it will go fast because it is a STAT, and she said yes. My mistake is that I miss to place the stickers that can help her or the processor identify which one should be done right away. I relied on the fact that it is a stat and that it will be processed ASAP since the patient is going on surgery around 10 or 11 in the morning. Of course it didn’t happen that way… And of course it is on the most critical of all patients. So the blood was there at the back for hours, and the Dr’s office started calling wondering where the results are. When I saw Dave with his sour face, I asked him if there was a mistake on the test. And he said no, that the thing that bothers him is that the one who processed it did not send it down the main lab right away. I thought I was off the hook. In my mind, I did all I was supposed to do. I understood how critical the matter is and that the test were very important for the surgery. That’s what i thought…

Two hours passed and I was getting ready to leave when my Manager came and said she wants me on her office. Right away I knew it wasn’t good. Well, she was nice enough to tell me what I did wrong, which was not placing the stickers. And I admitted to it. I mean, I have to take accountability on mistakes that I did. I know it is not a good reason but I guess I saw some not place stickers on other STAT and I guess that’s why I stopped doing it myself. And I do, I do blame me for thinking everyone is looking at each tube label making sure it will be handled correctly. I never had problems with anyone so far, and now that this happened it has to be with a patient that is of critical condition.

I was upset. I was disappointed. I was mad. I wanted to cry. I felt really bad that it happened this way. Nancy too was mad and said why didn’t I tell the manager that the person who drew and processed the blood knows it was a STAT? Because she did know about it. Nancy told her when she called the person in. But of course I am not like that. I am not going to throw a person under the bus just to make me look good, or for me to wash my hands. The most I can do is admit the part where I made a mistake and learn from it.

Tonight, I will be sleeping with a heavy heart knowing that I am a part of this big mess. I just hope that things goes well for the patient and that this did not jeopardize the procedure. If it did, I will be hearing more of it. Whatever the consequences are, I have to ready myself. But in all honesty, I know I put in all my best. And if all the blame points on me, I’m not even going to reason out.

This is definitely a learning experience. A tough way to learn, and it hit me really hard. I have to see this the positive way despite of it’s nature, I have no other choice. Even if I beat myself, I won’t be able to go back and change things to make it right. I hope and pray tomorrow is gonna be a better day. 12 hours is twice a long when you have something troubling your mind. As Rolly said, I have to toughen up and that start looking out for my self. He said not everything is well specially at work and that I have to take some things with a grain of salt…